Once kids enter toddler years most parents struggle to keep their sanity. Toddler years are not easy, to say the least. You may wonder, ‘How to be a calm parent?’, when in the midst of temper tantrums and control issues.This blogpost contains affiliate links. These links provide me with a small percentage commission but don’t cost you anything extra. For more information read the full disclosure
I too had my share of times when I felt like I was about to lose it. Situations may vary from family to family, but the anger triggers are almost always the same – Tiredness and Sleep Deprivation. No parent wants to be the monster in their child’s life. We don’t yell and scream intentionally. We just lose ourselves in the moment and think there is no other way to control the situation than yelling and screaming. So, ‘how to stop being an angry mom?’
Before we get to the steps to help you create a calmer home, there is a big point that needs to be covered.
KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS: A START TOWARDS PEACEFUL PARENTING
Take a moment to analyze the circumstances the last time you yelled or felt defeated by your child. Were you tired? Were you sleep deprived? had a bad day?
Once you know your triggers, take steps to address the core problem first. If you are feeling tired or sleep deprived – ask your partner or a close relative to help you out so you can get some rest, feel fresh and get back in again. Every parent needs a time out from parenting. Its natural to get burned out if you are trying to do everything single-handedly.
HERE ARE 11 STEPS TO BECOMING A CALM PARENT
Change in perspective
The first change that needs to happen is a change in your perspective of life. Everything is not happening to you. As your children grow there are different milestones they will cover that require special attention and guidance. These fluctuations in your child’s behavior and habits do not reflect on you. Your job as a parent is to stop taking your child’s growth and development too personally. All kids yell, scream and test boundaries. Continue with consistent messaging and calm approach to tackle your child’s needs.
Prepare for success
As I mentioned in the point above; tiredness, lack of sleep are all triggers to an angry meltdown. Children are going to be challenging. It’s our emotional and mental wellbeing that triggers the anger. Once you know potential anger triggers, plan ways to avoid or cope with them.
Here are a few ways to control your temper and avoid an angry meltdown;
- If you have a busy day ahead, go to bed early the night prior.
- Don’t plan any socialization when you or your kids are tired.
- Cut down on activities if you feel the schedule is too busy and weighing you down. Sometimes unstructured time is also needed to help unwind and feel connected with your kids.
Another important point worth mentioning, is building the right type of support system suited to your family situation.
Since my husband travels extensively for work and is unavailable to parent with me for a large part of the month, the first decision I took once my son was a toddler and I was ready to return to work was hire a caretaker for a few hours each day.
The solution may look different for each family, but the simple truth is that it helps to have some sort of a support system to help raise our kids, motherhood is not about being a supermom.
You can take help from your spouse, or either of your parents, or choose a daycare/nanny. Whatever works for your situation.
Raising children truly does require a village, we do many young mothers disservice by having them believe that they need to do it all. Look after their kids, cook meals, clean and work. Its impossible to juggle everything all at once and not loose your calm.
We should not feel ashamed to ask for help, especially during those early growing up years of our children lives.
Time blocking is a method of allocating a set period of time to tasks and completing them with a complete focus in that specified amount of time.
If you are a work from home mom like me this can help you stay productive throughout the day.
I divide my time throughout the day between big important tasks and smaller unimportant tasks. Activities that require most amounts of focus need to be done in a dedicated ‘do not disturb’ time block. You can schedule such quiet complete focus time slots around your kid’s naps or hire help/send kids to daycare, so you get dedicated work done.
Easier activities that require less attention can be done in small 20 minute windows for eg, while waiting at a doctors office, waiting while food cooks or while traveling. I use such mundane time slots of the day to reply back to non-urgent emails or reading up and researching information or creating a draft of a blog post in the notes app on my phone.
I use a weekly planner and list out my time blocks for the week. I plan the week on a Sunday so I know what to expect each day with one glance at the weekly planner. Having a weekly planner also helps stay on track and motivated since you are looking at tasks over a period of one week instead of a day. Here is the one I use, Thinkpot Weekly Planner.
Here is a post I wrote recently on my productivity tips as a work from home mom, juggling my time between my son and work.
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